


Taking the Shot

by kuriadalmatia



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-28
Updated: 2013-09-28
Packaged: 2017-12-27 19:50:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/982929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuriadalmatia/pseuds/kuriadalmatia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite all that has happened between them, Aaron Hotchner still loves Spencer Reid. And taking the shot? Well, it’s just another way to prove it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taking the Shot

**Author's Note:**

> ARCHIVING: my LJ, AO3, Tumblr and FFNet account... anyone else? Please ask first.
> 
> TIMELINE: S8’s “Zugzwang”
> 
> September 2014
> 
> COMMENTS: Unbetaed. Written for Jekkah Fanfiction’s Facebook prompt to promote the [ FFN Profiler’s Choice Awards ](http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/141001/96466893/1/Profiler-Choice-Awards-2013#). I can’t tell you how many issues I have with the resolution of “Zugzwang” and Maeve’s death. Hell, I can’t tell you how many issues I have with S8’s Death Spree in general. So here’s my (awkward) attempt at reconciling my H/R with the canon relationships and adding my own twist. Because it’s fanfic, and we can right the wrongs, right?
> 
> Feedback always welcome.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios and CBS Paramount Network Television own Criminal Minds. Salut! I just took them out to play and I promise put them back when I'm done. I'm not making any profit just trying to get these images out of my head.

~~~~

He takes the shot.

There’s no hesitation.

_He takes the shot._

He takes the shot because he loves Spencer Reid.

~~~~

It goes like this.

Hotch and Reid always had good chemistry. From the day they met in Gideon’s office, they hit it off well. They synced together better than Gideon and Reid did, which had always quietly annoyed the older profiler. It’s hard to track down where and when Hotch and Reid finally got over their hesitations about taking their relationship to beyond a friendship, except that it was after Hotch’s divorce was finalized, after Reid placed himself in the line of fire down in Texas, but before Hotch was nearly blown up by a car bomb in New York.

Everything was going fine—or as fine as a relationship could be given that they were both profilers on the same team—until Foyet attacked Hotch.

It wasn’t until after they buried Haley that Hotch allowed them to grow close again.

And things were going well, quite well in fact. Hell, there was even talk of officially moving in together. 

It was going well until Emily Prentiss’s past fucked it up. Fucked it up hard.

There are some things that relationships can bounce back from.

There are some things that relationships can’t.

It wasn’t Prentiss’s “death” that did them in. It was her resurrection. 

There are some things that Spencer Reid can forgive.

There are some things that Spencer Reid can’t.

Being lied to for all that time is one of them.

Not that Hotch blames him. He would have probably ended the relationship, too.

How they manage to still work together is nothing short of a miracle. Then again, they are both phenomenally good at compartmentalization, so some days it’s like they never were together in the first place. Some days, it’s like they never shared the same bed, shared the painful secrets of their childhoods, shared their souls…

But they have.

They’ll never forget.

Reid literally can’t.

Hotch never wants to.

It’s the first relationship that he’s ever been 100% honest in.

Except for that whole “Prentiss dies” thing.

It’s the biggest lie he’s ever told. The biggest lie he ever lived. It costs him Spencer Reid.

He knows he deserves the punishment.

~~~

Beth Clemmons approaches Hotch, not the other way around. He isn’t actively searching for a new romance in his life. It just kind of happens.

He keeps it quiet, or as quiet as David Rossi decides it should be. Hotch doesn’t want to hurt Spencer, especially with the news that there’s a potential new romance in his life. He really doesn’t.

But Spencer does that thing of his where he’s so damn earnest, so damn selfless and so damn honest. “I’m happy for you,” Spencer tells him as they ride down in the elevator together after the case in which the entire team finds out about Beth. It’s just the two of them in that metal box, else Spencer would have never broached the subject. “I really am.”

And Aaron knows that his ex-lover isn’t lying. Spencer is generous that way. Their own relationship just didn’t work out. It was a failed experiment, so Spencer moves on. Aaron never thinks there’s a possibility to do so until Beth chases him down and introduces herself.

It doesn’t mean he has, though. It doesn’t mean he has.

~~~

Aaron knows about Spencer’s secret girlfriend long before the others. 

How? Well, it all has to do with Spencer writing letters. You see, back when Aaron and Spencer were together, Aaron witnessed Spencer’s daily ritual on a regular basis. The letters are always written on the same stationary with the same Mont Blanc cartridge pen. The missives are rarely written on the jet; Spencer worries that turbulence will cause his hand to shake and a crossed out word has the potential to trigger an episode with his mother. There’s also a precision and a rhythm to how he writes: slow, steady. Again, it’s trying to avoid the crossed out words. Finally, Spencer’s expression is always serious, his brow furrowed. 

So when Spencer is sitting at the jet’s table and writing a letter, Aaron immediately knows it’s not one that will be mailed to Diana Reid. The stationary is wrong, as is the pen that Spencer uses. A soft, almost hidden smile plays across Spencer’s lips as he scribbles across the page.

It isn’t a paper for (yet another) college degree. Yes, Spencer still writes them out longhand before he types it into his computer, but he uses a legal pad.

It isn’t a report.

It isn’t the beginnings of a scientific journal submission. Yes, Spencer writes those out longhand as well.

It isn’t a letter to someone like Lila or Jordan or Austin or any other surviving victim who occasionally corresponds with Spencer. Those never go beyond a page.

No.

It’s _personal._

As in _intimate._

Aaron’s jealous. He can’t help it, even if he’s a jackass hypocrite for feeling the way he feels.

So he does his best to stuff those feelings into a tiny box in his mind because Spencer’s been so damn generous with him about Beth. 

He doesn’t say anything, not even to say congratulations or that he’s truly happy for Spencer.

He should, though. He should because it makes him feel less guilty about Beth.

But he can’t.

Because after that mess with Prentiss, Aaron Hotchner swore to himself that he would never lie to Spencer Reid ever again, even if it costs him his career.

He doesn’t say congratulations or that he’s happy that Spencer found someone, because it would be a lie.

~~~~

When Maeve goes missing, Spencer calls him first. Not Morgan. Not Dave. _Him._

Because there’s a certain terror in realizing that someone you love is in mortal danger, and despite all that Dave and Morgan have been through in the past year, they don’t have the complete understanding that Aaron does.

His jealousy takes a backseat. His pettiness does as well. The ruthless part of him declares, _He’ll never come back to you if he loses this woman. You know it._

And he does.

He refuses to allow it to be his motivation. 

The driving factor behind him is what it has always been (and always should be): saving the victim.

So Aaron Hotchner dedicates his entire being into the case, just like he’s done since the day he joined the FBI.

Everything.

Because he knows what it’s like to be tortured like this, knows precisely what scenarios and outcomes are running through Spencer’s mind, and knows that he never wants Spencer to feel the helplessness and the pain that he did because he wasn’t good enough to save Haley.

~~~~

Aaron Hotchner takes the shot.

The UnSub spins away from Maeve, dropping her weapon and falling to the ground.

For a moment, Maeve doesn’t move.

Then, Reid rushes forward, pulls her into his arms, and declares, “You’re safe, Maeve. You’re safe.”

Because despite all that has happened between them, Aaron Hotchner still loves Spencer Reid. And taking the shot? Well, that’s just another way to prove it.

~~~~ Finis ~~~~


End file.
